Focus Magazines The local magazines for Abergavenny, Crickhowell, Brecon & Talgarth – Events, News and Advertising

Highly Commended

Over 18s Category
By Josephine Corcoran

 

Make it look as though you are rubbing dirt from your forehead, from your heart, from one shoulder, then the other shoulder.

Clasp your hands together in a way that makes them believe you are anticipating happiness.

Always wear an electronic device. Don’t move your lips; say the words silently, in your head. If they interrupt, smile and gesture to your earphones.

If they catch you kneeling, say you are looking for an earring.

Say dressing modestly is the new rebellion; wearing a crucifix is expressing irony; Religious Education is your worst nightmare.

Laugh when they use God’s name in vain.

Say you’re going shopping when you’re going to Confession.

Pretend you were daydreaming , and not saying Grace, when they start the meal without you.

Wrap the Bible in the cover of a book about vampires.

Look bored in Church and close your eyes as if you are asleep instead of listening.

On Ash Wednesday wear your hair brushed forward.

On Good Friday say you can’t eat meat because you are de-toxing.

When Sister Mary Monica waits outside with the engine running and your suitcase in the boot, tell them you’ll always be their daughter.

Please support our local businesses

4 responses to “How To Make Them Like You”

  1. Freya Morris (@Freya_Writer) says:

    Really enjoyed this Josephine! You got me again. Always good to see people not shying away from religious/christian topics in fiction. Yay!

  2. Josephine Corcoran says:

    Thanks to everyone reading and commenting. I really appreciate it. And a big thanks to the organisers of this competition. Honoured to be among such fine writers.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.